Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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