hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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