We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
