my mouth tastes like poor choices
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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