This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
