You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
