She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
