then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
