Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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