I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
