chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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