btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dick very happy bro
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
