I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
