How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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