So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
