dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Vodka?
Forever.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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