You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
