K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why didn't you poke me back
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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