there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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