Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
