we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
