At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
