And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
