It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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