Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
