Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
