I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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