Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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