So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
where are you?
Hypothermia
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
