So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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