He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
