Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
