Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
