Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
