Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
