i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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