All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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