But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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