i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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