I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
