Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
