i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
