Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
