So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
