no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
