Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
