I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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