ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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