who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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