My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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