she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
