Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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